I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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