Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize