he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize