i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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