My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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