You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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