just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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