yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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