I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
my poor anus
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize