I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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