You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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