Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
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I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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