I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you win again, gameday.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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