You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize