He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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