Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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