She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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