I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
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Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
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When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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