its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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