dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize