Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize