It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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