What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize