My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
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I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
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I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I touched a dick in church today
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