Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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