I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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