i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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