Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize