he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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