You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
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i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
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I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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