i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize