i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
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does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
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im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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