I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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