I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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