it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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