let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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