Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize