he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
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ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
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College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize