They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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