FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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