my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
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Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
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I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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