I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize