when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize