While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Let's get the cat blown out
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize