3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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