I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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