she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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