Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
When are your genitals available?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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