Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize