I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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