dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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