Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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